I wish there were more great boundary books. The best one I know is “Boundaries” by Cloud & Townsend, but if you’ve read it you know that it is VERY Christian, and therefore inaccessible for some clients. I also like “How to Draw The Line” and “F@ck Your Boundaries” (if you can tolerate the language). Terri Cole has added another great option to the boundary book topic – and although it is geared toward women, I think it could be useful for anyone, really.
The first half of the book is about “Connecting the dots to the past”, meaning that our boundary and communication set points are largely formed in our families of origin. Cole walks us through basic information about boundaries, and then how those things get corrupted by various means. She also makes the connection between codependency and not so great boundaries, and helps us understand why sometimes we have a strong boundary reaction because of past issues.
Then she moves on to building skills for the present and future. She teaches us the 3 R’s – to recognize when we are uncomfortable with a situation; to learn to release the parts of it that are based in past people and experiences; and then to decide how we want to respond rather than just reacting. She gives lots of activities and questionnaires that can help with forming new boundaries. Lastly, she addresses those people who just will not respect boundaries no matter what we do.
Overall, I think this is a solid contribution to the boundary books currently on the market with a lot of great information for both therapists and clients. I would definitely want to have this on my shelf as an option. This title won’t be released until April 20th, but you can pre-order now, or check out my summary!
Disclaimer: The Amazon link above is an affiliate link and I receive a small compensation from purchases made through this link. Summaries are NOT intended to replace the purchase of the book but merely to give you advance information and save you time reading!